There’s just something about being wrapped up in the right man’s arms that makes your heart believe anything is possible.
But the heart is a liar — a cruel, vicious liar.
It’s making me feel things that my head knows I shouldn’t. Holt told me he can’t love me. It was the first thing he said to me, so why is my heart telling me to believe the opposite?
Abruptly, I sit up and wipe water on my face before covering my chest with my hands. He simply leans up and gently rubs my back. “Cold?” he asks.
I nod and get to my feet, his hand running down my butt cheek as I step out of the tub and reach for a towel. Holt darts up and stops me, his fingers circling my hips.
“You have bruises,” he says, causing me to look down. He’s right. A couple tiny bruises grace my hips. He lightly grabs my hips, his fingers lining up with the marks on my flesh.
“Doesn’t hurt,” I say, reaching out to him, but he steps back.
“You’re hurt because of me.”
“I just want to protect you,” he says, his voice low.
“Holt, I would tell you if you were too rough,” I say, stepping closer to him and stroking the stubble on his face.
His eyes spark, and he falls to his knees, kissing each bruise softly. “Think I need to show you how good gentle can feel,” he says, standing and picking me up. He carries me to the bed and lays me down, kissing my hair and whispering, “I want every inch of your body to remember me. Remember the pleasure I give you.” A little moan escapes, and he chuckles low in his throat. “I’m going to make you wait this time.”
“No,” I pout.
He raises his head and stares down at me. “You like it quick and dirty, don’t you?” he asks. Before Holt, I waited five years to have sex again, so my body must think it’s going to be sex deprived again, because he’s right. “Say it. Tell me what you like.”
“Quick,” I beg. “I need to come — now!”
“Demanding,” he smirks at me, pinning my arms overhead. “I’m the one who gives the orders, remember?"
I actually show my teeth. It’s like I’m a wild animal in heat. You know, the kind you see on Discovery Channel when sex looks more like a fight? He just leans down and kisses the tip of my nose. I wiggle my hips, grinding into the length of him, hoping I can catch just the right angle to push him inside. His tip lingers at my entrance — Yes! But just as I start to push into him, he lifts his hips up.
“Bad girl.” Then he lifts his eyes to mine and says, “I told you, no quick and dirty this time. This is a sweet fuck.”
Sweet fuck? Those words do not go together, but something about them makes my body relax. And Holt feels it too, releasing my wrists, his tongue finding mine and slowly exploring my mouth. This is the way he kissed me that first night on his patio — softly and sweetly. He’s winning me over already. There’s definitely something to be said for a patient man.
“Christ, you are so beautiful,” he whispers between kisses.
“Holt,” I say, my voice cracking. It’s much easier to have him talk dirty to me than to hear him say sweet things. Dirty talk equals fucking, not making love. At least, it’s easier to fool myself into believing that. I guess dirty talk happens when you love someone, too. But sweet talk doesn’t happen when it’s just sex. It means something more.
His head lowers to my breast, his tongue circling my nipple, and then I feel it a whole lot lower, my legs clenching together. His hand goes to my other breast, lightly pulling up the nipple while he sucks, licks, and circles the other with his warm mouth. A tightness builds in my thighs, and a wave of heat flashes over my body. I don’t know how, but I know I’m close. Another wave comes over me, and I say a few dirty words in my head.
He keeps his eyes locked on mine as he slides down my body. Clearly, he hasn’t given up on taking his time. He kisses my folds gently, like he’s kissing my face, and my legs push together, but he brings my thighs to his shoulders and lightly runs his tongue across me. “Don’t hold back,” he says. “You know I love it when you talk dirty.” His eyes close, and he moans, sending this incredible vibration through me. He’s being so gentle, so slow. It’s making me lose my mind.